About two weeks ago my skin began breaking out. I had little red itchy eczema spots on my face and many more all over my body that appeared to have come out of nowhere. The usual regime for my eczema flare-ups was ineffective, so I didn’t want to go outside in public with my blotchy red face.
I took this as a physical sign that part of me was rebelling; part of me wanted to put a halt to my newfound momentum and feeling of empowerment.
One day, while meditating, it suddenly occurred to me that I almost always view and perceive my body from the outside, particularly when I look in the mirror.
Then I understood: Mirrors lie. At the very least, they aid in the telling of a lie - the lie that I am separate from my physical body, that I am a mere observer.
Gazing at my reflection is like watching a video of myself.
While I brush my teeth in front of the mirror, my brain is effortlessly controlling this mundane task, allowing me the viewpoint of an outsider standing about 4 feet away (the image of my face travels 2 feet to the mirror and 2 feet back to my eyes). How can I not feel the separation from this distance?
It’s as if I’m someone else is looking at my skin, watching it being attacked, needing outside intervention, needing someone else to heal it. This feeling of a lack of control is what brought on the anxiety, which brought on more breakouts, and so it snowballed.
With this realization, still in meditation, I began touching my face and perceiving this touch from my face’s viewpoint. In other words, my consciousness was in my face, not on my fingertips. In this state I ran my fingers over the bumpy breakouts and accepted the soothing soft touch. As I did this my breathing slowed, which was the exact opposite of the quickened breathing I experienced when I anxiously observed my blotchy face in the mirror.
I continued this soft touch and imagined the bumps receding back into my face, smoothing out, calming down. This is what being one with my body feels like. This is the state from which I can heal myself or at very least, accept healing.
Since that meditation breakthrough I have made a lot of progress healing my eczema. I feel calm and in control of my skin and so my normal regiment is working again.
Now when I touch my face I feel it on the inside. I remind myself that my body is not what I see in the mirror, separate from my mind, separate from my consciousness.
No. My body and mind are united.
I am a spiritual being, a soul, but in the physical world I reside in my body. I create it every second, and I can change it with my thoughts, yet it functions without thought. I can affect it negatively by thinking of it as outside of me, as vulnerable. However, without anxiety, it retains it’s natural state of health. This is the way it was meant to be. My body is the physical representation of my soul.
My body is my soul’s skin.